How would your relationship change if you ran it like a successful business?
Have you ever noticed how start-up companies, successful corporations, collegiate sports teams, and professional sports teams have at the very least weekly team meetings to check-in, review goals, and discuss the next best steps to achieve these goals.
Weekly meetings serve many purposes and have endless benefits. Such as to maintain momentum, consistency, guidance, support, and brainstorming so that the company can stay on track towards positive growth, winning the next big game, and profiting as an organization.
Championship teams practice their sport for hours a day-- -every day. They go to camps, hire strength and conditions coaches, and invest their time, efforts, and full commitment in order to be THE BEST!!
What if we applied those same principles to our relationships?
What would happen to your relationship if you went to relationship retreats?
What would happen to your relationship if you hired a relationship coach or a therapist?
What would happen to your relationship if you invested more time, effort, and commitment in order to be THE BEST husband or wife?
Having a successful relationships is the #1 predictor of health and happiness. I'm serious! There's a 75-year study that supports this fact.
Yet our relationships receive the least amount of attention and efforts as if we believe that because we said "I do" that we should be able to go on autopilot and set our relationship to cruise control thinking it will navigate the rocky roads of life on its own.
Relationships take a back seat to careers, making more money, having more stuff, and busyness as an excuse to not show up in our relationships.
When the fact is that if we made our relationships our #1 priority to invest our time and efforts in them then we would be more fulfilled and happier and have what we NEED instead of what we think we WANT trying to trick ourselves into thinking we are happy. If I just get this next promotion then I will be happy and have more time for my relationship and family. If I just reach this next (fill in the blank for a million next things) then I will (fill in the blank of a million things). We If-Then ourselves instead of investing in our relationships NOW. The most important thing is always right in front of you---Your Relationships!
Research shows we NEED healthy relationships in order to be happy.
We WANT big houses, expensive cars, lots of money, and fancy titles. If you are really being honest with yourself you do not need those things. They are wants. Extras that are additions to your life.
As we close 2017, let focus on what we NEED to truly be happy and healthy. Let's do that by treating our relationships like a multimillion dollar company that we are equal investors in. As your relationship grows and becomes more successful the "shares" in your relationship company go up and you receive the most valuable return on your investment-- Happiness, Health, Fulfillment.
Here's how you can put this into action:
Step 1:List of 50
My husband and I started this habit last year in which at the end of the year we each write out our own personal list of at least 50 accomplishments for that year. We learned this practice from Denise Duffield Thomas.
Step 2: 1-year goals for 2018
Then just as I do for my business and just as my husband does at the end of the year meeting at his corporate job, we each separately create our 1-year goals for the upcoming year.
We divide our year goals it into the following categories:
Ex: Do yoga at least 1x week
Ex: Turn off phone at 8pm
Ex: Attend a relationship building workshop together
Ex: Be more patient with my husband
Ex: Be more romantic towards my wife
Ex: Monthly date nights
Ex: Take a trip to Disney
Ex: Be more patient with our children
Ex: Daily undistracted play time with the kids
Ex: Book 5 travel speaking gigs
Ex: Complete Media Press Kit
Step 3: End of year meeting
Then after the kids have gone to bed, we sit down by the fireplace, glasses of wine in hand, and we discuss our lists with each other. During our "year-end meeting", we.....
1. help each other add things to our 50-list
2. Share our 1-years goal list with each other
3. Add things to the goals list as a team
4. Talk about how we can support and assist each other in reaching our goals for the year
5. Map out a plan of action into 4 quarters.
For example, if our goal is a family trip to Disney in 2018 then what smaller steps throughout the year do we need to take in order to make our goal a reality?
Quarter 1 (Jan-March)
Perhaps the first steps we need to take is to contact a travel agent for pricing, then make a budget, and start saving money to meet that goal. Then we assign who is going to be in charge of which tasks.
Quarter 2 (April-June)
the next steps to reach our goal is book flights, book hotel, etc. Who will be in charge of that task?
Quarter 3 (July-Sept)
the next steps to reach our goal is schedule character meals and FastPasses. Who will be in charge of that task?
Quarter 4 (Oct-Dec)
the next steps to reach our goal is to create a packing list for the trip. Who will be in charge of that task?
This way we don't wait until Sept and realize we haven't saved enough money, didn't book a reservation in time, and then we end up not reaching our goal.
It is honestly one of the most uplifting, fun, and empowering habits that we have introduced into our relationship. By the time we are done we are buzzing with pride, admiration, and excitement for how far we've come in the current year and for the joyful anticipation for the adventures and gifts to happen in the upcoming year.
So before 2017 comes to a close schedule your end of the year team meeting for the most important team in your life-- -YOUR MARRIAGE!